FortySomething FirstTime Mum

It's Happened at Last..... The Icing On The Cake!

2012-01-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

Well, it's finally happened to me. I always said if this day ever came I would have truly flipped! In my twenties and thirties, while others of my age were settling down and figuring out what family life was all about, I was working and partying my days away.

As anyone who knows me well will agree, I have never been the most domesticated person. What's more I have never yearned to be. I have always felt that life is too short for housework, baking and even parenting! I saw these things as too mundane, ordinary, and restricting and that terrified me.

So it's ironic now, that even though I came to parenthood late, I find that it is not only the best thing that ever happened to me but I love the way of life!

I admit that I actually get satisfaction from doing housework now. But hey, those who know me needn't worry too much. It's not that fulfilling that I will spend time doing it when something more interesting presents itself! I am still liable to drop everything and worry about it later. Life is still too short to do too much housework! And the older I get the shorter it gets so alternative activities get priority!

The best bit of it all though is sharing time with my four year old son. We do lots of fun things together and I love reliving my childhood with him. He has been pestering me for a while now to bake some cookies and cupcakes or biscuits and fairy cakes as we call them here in Ireland. I have been putting it off for ages because baking is something I never enjoyed as a child and hated even more in domestic science at school. My mother used to get annoyed at the mess and say I had more on the floor than in the bowl. My teacher was an old nun who was very strict and unmotivating. Actually to say I hated baking and cooking is really an understatement.

I have wonderful sisters in laws and a mother in law that can bake anything. I also have a friend who can do the same. They always put me to shame because they bake their kid’s birthday cakes and all the things that go with it. I go to the shop for everything, birthday cake, cupcakes, biscuits, the lot! I have never baked from the day I left the domestic science class in favour of another subject aged about fifteen.

However, last week, while out with my cousins, I spotted a cute baking kit and decided to buy it for my little boy. I knew he would love it since he has been pestering me for ages and I thought buying it might finally egg me on. And what do you know, it did. It actually did! I had had conversations with various friends about the fun they have baking with their kids but put it out of my mind. Yet yesterday I found myself in the baking aisle of the supermarket perusing all the things we would need.

Today, my little boy and I made our first batch of cookies and our first batch of fairy/queenie/cupcakes and we couldn't be more thrilled! True, the cupcakes are a little pathetic since some of them haven't risen but hey, it's a first attempt! The cookies are not too bad considering we forgot to add vanilla essence and they could probably do with being sweeter. They do look cute though, cut out into shapes of little men, women and elephants. I really must do something about getting some cat cookie cutters. Now that would please us even more since we are both cat crazy!

I have started to bake. I have started to bake. I have started to bake. I have to keep repeating that as it seems so incredible to me! And even more uncharacteristically, I think I might even have the baking bug. I can't wait to try making banana bread and carrot cake next. Gosh, is that me saying that? It can't be, can it? But, it is..........I am now a fully-fledged domesticated parent. It has finally and unbelievably happened to me! Just have to figure out how to finally put the icing on the cake!

Enough Trust

2011-12-07T15:35:00.001-08:00

Enough Trust

Photographing Your Child In Public

2011-11-12T05:31:00.000-08:00

My latest post is up over at
http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/11/photographing-your-child-in-public.html

Oct 15 - International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2011-10-16T03:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I posted about it over at
http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/10/international-pregnancy-and-infant-loss.html

Use the Credit Card.... From the Mouths of Babes!

2011-09-26T02:12:00.000-07:00

A recent experience in a toy shop led me to write the following post:

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/09/use-credit-card-from-mouths-of-babes.html

I am very interested to hear what others think.

Children at Weddings?

2011-09-21T03:33:00.000-07:00

Having attended two weddings recently to which my litte boy was also invited, I wrote the following post

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/09/children-at-weddings.html

A Great Day In This World...

2011-09-12T12:36:00.001-07:00

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/09/great-day-in-this-world_11.html

My blog post on tenth anniversary of 9/11 over at The WM Parenting Connection.

TEN WAYS YOUNGER MOMS ARE DIFFERENT FROM US

2011-08-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

I decided to post this on my own blog today after reading it over at http://latebloomingmom.blogspot.com/

I certainly can identify with some of these ten ways, though not every older mother will. I do think the ten points are meant to be funny and tongue in cheek. At least that is the way I take them....

Over at my Facebook Page some people totally disagree with them. I have posted some of the comments at the end of the post.

1. They get tired. We get exhausted. And we do it before ten a.m.

2. They wash or discard any piece of their kid's food that hits the ground. We practice the ten-second rule: if it wasn't on the ground ten seconds, it's good eatin'.
3.Sometimes we practice the 20-second rule.
4.They still call it a "vacation" when the kids come.
5.Their kids wear pjs. Our kids sleep in their school clothes. It's a helluva time saver in the morning. (tee hee - love this! Tongue in cheek! JOKE!)
6. They make nutritious, home-cooked dinners. We maintain an extensive file of take-out menus.
7. They write holiday letters documenting the family's doings, with hand-written notes to their friends and relatives. We're lucky to get an unsigned photo card in the mail by New Year's.
8. They are perky. We're not. Not even on caffeine. You don't want to know us on caffeine. (Tee Hee!)
9. Their kids wear brand-new, matching outfits. Our kids wear hand-me-downs that saved us a trip to the mall and being the pitied mom whose kid won't leave without throwing a fit because we didn't buy them FILL IN THE BLANK HERE.
10. When given the choice of sex with their partner or sleep, younger moms still choose sex. What's that like? (love it! :))

I couldn't post a comment on your blog? I totally disagree!!!!its not about being an older or younger mum. These 10 points spell LAZY!
18 hours ago ·
Claire Hegarty B Then I am lazy!
18 hours ago ·
Claire Hegarty B I will post what you said over there and see who agrees! :)
18 hours ago ·
Vincent Houlihan As long as Mam and Baby are healthy and happy. age is only a number. Nature decides..not stupid people with age calculators. MY Mam had her first at 22 and the last at 42..she is now 82 and I could not get her to come off the dance floor in graingers last weekend. THE BABY AT 42 BECAME A DADDY THE SAME YEAR AS THE BABY AT 22 BECAME A GRANDAD LOL
10 hours ago · · 1 person
Helen Tyrrell I found the the whole 10 points very american,no mother young or old would have their children sleeping in school clothes .
2 hours ago ·
Helen Tyrrell the 10 points is all about having no time,not younger mother v older mother.
2 hours ago ·
Claire Hegarty B Nobody I know would do that Helen but the ten points are meant to be tongue in cheek, I would say! I do have contact with a lot of older mothers, especially FIRST TIME older mothers who may not be as used to getting things organised etc as older mums who already have kids and most of them do have a little bit more chaos around it.
7 minutes ago ·
Claire Hegarty B Also, both myself and my friend who had babies at almost 42 do feel a lot more tired than our younger counterparts. I have talked to both types of mums at length about this. I fear that if I didn't go walking, have early nights, watch my diet and do yoga, my energy levels would really plummet.
4 minutes ago ·
Claire Hegarty B I do think the tiredness makes me a bit lazy at times, and because I lead a busy life, time can be an issue. If I was more organised I could probably resolve all this.
3 minutes ago ·

How A Child Learns: I thought such awful thoughts..............

2011-08-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish. — Anne Lamott

This quote came up on my Facebook page from one of my many inspirational Facebook friends. A bolt of recognition shot through me when I read it. It reminded me of those awful self hating thoughts that plagued me during my teens, twenties and part of my thirties.

Back then, before I changed my way of thinking, I despised everything about myself. I was consumed with criticism and hostility towards myself. I was insecure, had no confidence and ridiculed myself on a daily basis. If anyone criticised me negatively, I agreed with them! When people were nice to me, wanted to be my friend or more, I didn't believe them. I assumed there was an ulterior motive, I was standoffish on occasions. I drank too much, to block out the pain and I even thought of ending it all at times. I spent a large part of my life in tears. Looking back, I wasted so much precious life being this way.

I believe that this lack of self esteem, self worth and self love led me to believe that I would be the worst mother in the world. I also didn't want to bring a child into the world who would ever have those same kind of feelings about themselves. I wasn't sure I would be able to prevent this as my own parents didn't with me. I know that they did the best they could do but, in those days, many children were treated in a very different way than they are now. My mother is kind but quite a critical person and my father was genuine, but oversensitive, depressive and an alcoholic. They were good people and parented as best they knew how. They weren't really aware of any damage that was done to their children and I hasten to stress that fact.

Thankfully, I was able to overcome my problems with time, self help and a lot of self love. Something happened to me that jolted me right into the reality that if I continued on the self destructive path, there would be worse to come.

I started to consume self help books, had counselling and read about inspirational people who overcame much adversity in their lives. I realised that it is true that everything begins with the thoughts in your mind, every action, every decision you make. I realised that I had to take the responsibility of altering my mindset upon myself. I realised that I couldn't blame anyone else if I couldn't turn things around. I had a mind of my own and it was up to me to use it properly. All my negative thinking had led me to hating myself, to being overweight, to drinking too much, to being in jobs or relationships that were not good for me. It was lovely to find that by changing the thinking, I began to love myself, lose weight, drink much less, find a job and a man I love. And Yes! Have that baby! I was in my forties when I eventually had him but better late than never I say!

Of course, there are still challenges in all areas of my life. I am still a work in progress but I am loving learning more about myself and life every day. And the best thing is that I DON'T feel selfish doing it because I know, by being a happier person, it will impact on those around me.

I hope that I can help my child to avoid all the mental suffering that I and many friends of my generation went through. I have a lovely friend Liz Mitchell, who will understand exactly what I mean when I talk about how children of our generation were brought up. As a sensitive child, she went through much the same stuff and as a sensitive and damaged adult went on to suffer at the hands of others.

One day, she woke up and realised that she didn't have to do that and that she could change her world. She is now the wonderful forty something mother of two beautiful daughters. She is a shining example to them of how you can change your way of thinking and you can follow your dreams no matter what your age. Hopefully we are more aware these days of how a child learns and how and what they will learn from us.

See this link about my friend and you will see what I mean! http://www.burnley.ac.uk/web09/content/case_studies_details.asp?id=86

Liz Mitchell - Fortysomething Mum and DreamCatcher

I'll leave you with the food for thought below....

How A Child Learns
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, she learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, she learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, she learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, she learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, she learns to like herself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

(Dorothy Law Nolte)

TNJRH6G6HKD2

Is It Bribery or Compromise? And Is it Right Or Wrong?

2011-08-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/08/bribery-or-compromise-is-it-right-or.html

My latest post over at the The WM Parenting Connection can be found at the above link.

In theory, you shouldn't bribe your children when you want them to do something. Before I actually had my child, I would have been the first to agree. Funny how things change.

I would be interested to hear how others feel on the subject.

Untidy House, Untidy life?

2011-08-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

Someone once said to me that an untidy house equals an untidy life.

I beg to differ on this one! My house is untidy a lot of the time. However, as the author mentioned in my post says, 'it's a sign I have a life and not that I need to get one! Check out what I have written on the subject over at http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/08/untidy-house-untidy-life.html

As Erma Bombeck once quipped ' My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be.'

and I also agree that:

'cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to Sleep! I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!' Ruth Hamilton

Remember! The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work. --Author Unknown

Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.

I was featured in The Irish Examiner FeelGood Supplement last Friday!

2011-06-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

I was delighted last week to be contacted by a journalist from The Irish Examiner newspaper http://www.irishexaminer.com/ . She was doing an article on over forty mothers and wanted to ask about my experience of being a forty something first time mum.

As I was being interviewed last Tuesday, I took my eyes off my toddler and his friends. Next thing I knew I could smell burning and here giggling from the kitchen. Abandoning my interviewer and dashing into the kitchen I discovered that he had put a dry bowl of porridge into the microwave. Of course, the plate was not suitable, and, on a high setting, the microwave went up in smoke! This is the third microwave he has broken but I just couldn't be cross. After all, it was me who forgot to unplug the dratted thing! I fully expected to see something about this in the interview!

The following day, The Examiner wanted to send their photographer at short notice. I was minding my two and a half year old niece that day, as her creche had been closed. I arrived home from collecting my little boy from playschool at 12.45 and the photographer arrived shortly after. It was chaotic to say the least. When she arrived, there were two mad toddlers racing around the house. I had a half face of make up on as I was hoping look half decent in the pictures.

The article came out in the print version of The Irish Examiner last Friday on page 6 of the Feel Good Mag supplement. I was delighted with it, especially as my blog was mentioned. The photograph was also pretty good. I knew my son would look great but I wasn't too sure about myself! Thankfully, it was a pleasant surprise!

I notice that the article isn't online at the Irish Examiner website so I might contact them about that. I would love to put the link up and archive it here on my blog. What do you think?

My last weeks blog post for the WM Parenting connection can be found at the link below. I would really welcome any comments.

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/05/is-this-too-harsh-or-too-indulgent.html

PS -5th June 2011 - The PDF link for the article by Sue Leonard and featuring me is at
http://www.irishexaminer.com/feelgood/archive/2011-05-27.pdf Scroll down to page 6 and there we are!

I note that Cari Rosen Author of 'The Secret Diary of a New Mum, aged 43 1/4' was mentioned alongside Carla Bruni in a similar article. http://secretdiaryofasecretdiary.blogspot.com/2011/07/me-and-carla-bruni.html

Enough Trust

2011-05-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/05/enough-trust.html
My latest post over at the WM Parenting Connection in which I talk about how I hope my son will see me as older and wiser rather than an old fogey! I hope he will be able to trust me enough to confide in me about whatever he is going through in life. All comments welcome.

I also have an interesting article by Marina Calado up over at my other blog. Go to
http://www.fortysomethingfirsttimeyogini.blogspot.com/ to check it out.

Mompetitors

2011-04-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

by Claire Hegarty

In the playground the other day I eavesdropped on two mothers . To read more hop over to my post at http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/04/mompetitors_17.html

'Saint' Mothers Day

2011-04-04T12:12:00.000-07:00

It was Mothers Day yesterday in my part of the world. My son made me laugh so much when he referred to it as 'Saint' Mothers day! Read more over at
http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/04/saint-mothers-day_03.html

The First Time

2011-03-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hop on over to http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/03/first-time.html to see my latest post! Feel free to comment here or there or indeed in both places!!

Express Your Love

2011-02-27T12:51:00.001-08:00

If you'd like to read my latest post go on over to The WM Parenting Connection at
http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/02/express-your-love.html

Am I an Over Protective Mother?

2011-02-20T02:33:00.001-08:00

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/02/am-i-over-protective-mother.html

My latest blog post over at The WM Parenting Connection! Am I am over protective mother or is it just normal behaviour? I would love to know what you think! You can post in the comment section here or over there or indeed in both places!!

Thanks!

Claire

Parenthood isn't for everyone?

2011-02-05T05:52:00.000-08:00

Hi there

Check out my latest post over at http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/01/parenthood-isnt-for-everyone.html

What do you think? Feel free to comment here or over on the WMParenting site.

2011-01-23T03:01:00.001-08:00

Hi there

Scoot on over to http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/01/boy-from-heaven.html where you will not only see my article but a wealth of parenting topics!

2011-01-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

I had hoped to start posting again on January 1st and was full of the best intentions. One of my resolutions is to blog in a timely fashion. Not a good start!

My other resolutions are to be more positive, more focused and above all calm. I would like to be the best parent I can be. I also want to get fitter and lose some weight. I feel they are realistic, achievable goals so hope I can persuade the negative, lazy part of myself to agree and comply!

I'd like to wish you all a very healthy, happy and positive 2011 full of blessings and love. If you like, you can pop on over to http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2011/01/water-of-life.html for my latest post.

Death of a Mid Life Mum

2010-12-10T07:29:00.001-08:00

I don't know much about this lady Elizabeth Edwards but read about her over at Angel La Liberte's Flower Power Mom site.

It's a beautiful but sad story. Check it out at http://flowerpowermom.com/elizabeth-edwards-older-mother/

A lovely Video for all mothers to watch

2010-12-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

I found this on the Awesome Women Hub and just HAD to share...

http://www.reflectionsofmotherhood.com/

What do you think? Can you add anything?

December Update

2010-12-07T09:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated in a while due to a myriad of things, one being a child ill with chicken pox and another being snowed in with my mother and son!

Since I last posted, Kelly Preston has given birth to a healthy baby boy, Benjamin, at the age of forty eight.

I also want to announce that my interview is featured today on The Casual Blogger Community website. You can read it at the link below! Any comments here and also over there would be very much appreciated!

http://www.casualbloggercommunity.com/2010/12/forty-something-first-time-mum.html

Kelly Preston due to give birth at aged 48

2010-11-19T03:09:00.001-08:00

http://flowerpowermom.com/america-waits-kelly-preston-give-birth-48/

Hope on over to the above link to read about Kelly Preston who is due to give birth shortly at the age of forty eight.

I am following the story with great interest as I am still hoping to have another baby even though I am forty four.

What do you think?

Working At Home

2010-11-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

The other day, in the park I was talking to another mum.. We got to talking about our old life of working outside of the home. She explained that she had given up her job to look after her children. The cost of childcare was so high, it made no sense for her to keep at it. I felt sorry for her because she actually wanted to work outside the home.

It's great to be able to stay at home with your children if it's something that you can do and something that you actually want to do. I am lucky enough to be in that position and, for me, it's the right thing. However, for that mum, it was the wrong thing and she was desperately unhappy in her stay at home mum role. She said that she was actually bored being at home even though she felt it was also a lot of work. She didn't drive, had no hobbies for herself and her child didn't go to preschool or kindergarten.

In my case, I am on a career break from my job outside the home. As I didn't have my son until I was nearly forty two I wanted to be able to spend as much time with him as possible. I also wanted to be available to take my mother to her hospital and doctors appointments as she has COPD, chronic Asthma and arthritis. When I worked for an organisation outside the home I had to use up holiday days and flexi days to do this.

Unlike that other mum, I find that I don't have time to be bored by being at home. I agree that housework etc can be mundane but that is why it is important to be doing something else too, paid or not. A lot of the time I am not actually at home at all. I am usually busy transporting my mother to shops, doctors, hospitals and entertaining my son and his friends. I also look after people's cats and dogs when they are away from home or out at work. You could say I am a stay at home mum who looks after stay at home pets. I also have hobbies such as reading and blogging that keep me occupied in my rare moments of leisure.

I really enjoyed working outside of the home and will probably return to that in the future. However, for now I find that I am almost busier than I was when I did that.

I can't imagine how some people juggle both these things although I know that many people do. I think that mum that I met would have been happy to do both if, monetarily, it was possible.

What would I do today if I were Brave?

2010-11-12T03:02:00.000-08:00

I am so so inspired by the wonderful song and video by Jana Stanfield. I found it through Awesome Women Hub and Abby's Energy Healing Page. Please check it out and it think you will get what I mean.

'What step would I take today if I were brave?' 'What would I do today if I were brave?' the song starts off with these words and then it ends with 'What WILL I do today, I AM brave?'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF5V2PEujqs

Thank you Jana Stanfield http://www.janastanfield.com/, Robin Rice http://www.awesomewomenhub.com/ and Abby Wynne http://www.facebook.com/AbbyEnergyHealing?v=info

I don't know about you all but I am braver these days than I have ever been. Even more so since I became a fortysomething first time mum.

In the past few years I have learned how to drive, swim, overcome dental phobia, fear of motherhood and depression. I have also gone part time in my day job to care for my mother and run a small petsitting/dogwalking business.

In the past few months I have worked on personal development and spirituality, started to blog, restarted yoga, and generally made more effort to do things for myself..

As I become braver, I am working on loving myself enough to shed excess weight and follow my dreams despite what others may think. I am developing relationships with like-minded people and extending understanding to the rest. I realise not everyone has to agree or understand each other in order to maintain a relationship. We are all brave and beautiful in our own way!

A recap of my interview with Flower Power Mom

2010-11-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

http://flowerpowermom.com/over-40-mom-blogs-from-ireland/
Check out my interview at the wonderful Flower Power Mom Site.

Also why not pop over to the brilliant http://www.facebook.com/Parenthood.ie I discovered it recently and I am loving it!

Mom Blogger of The Week

2010-11-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

I am delighted and honoured to be named Mom Blogger of the week over at Apryl Duncan's About.com page. You can take a look here http://stayathomemoms.about.com/b/2010/11/05/mom-blogger-of-the-week-forty-something-first-time-mum.htm

I will have a post all about what we can learn from our children over at http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/ on Sunday. If you have time, it would be great if you would read it and comment.

Just For Myself - yoga, me and the Law of Attraction

2010-11-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

I may sound mad to some of you out there but I find that practicing the principles of the Law of Attraction (google it if you don't know what I mean) really works for me. At least, when I remember to practice it and not fall into old habits and ways. It's one of the things that I am determined to practice just for myself. It seems to make everything better for me and in turn, that is better for my family too.

This very morning, I went to my weekly yoga class. It's something that I refuse to miss unless the circumstances are exceptional. It makes me feel positive, energetic and alive. It makes me feel like taking care of myself. This is something I need to do especially as I am a forty something first time mum.

My car is in the garage having repairs done before it's retest, which it failed a few weeks ago. I got up, got my son ready, knowing we would have to walk to school in wind and rain and then I would have to take a bus to the yoga class. I wasn't looking forward to it but was viewing it in the most positive light. Exposure to nature and the elements and a little exercise too! In the past, I would have complained and got lazy about it but not in my new frame of mind!

The positive vibes must have worked because as I was preparing to leave the house, my neighbour was going to the shopping centre. It is on the way to school and yoga and she was good enough to give us a lift to both places. We not only got there but we got there early. This gave me lots of time to have a lovely conversation with the yoga teacher and some of my classmates.

I had a stimulating class and was tingling all over with positive energy afterwards. It really does have this kind of zinging effect on me. As I walked up the road in the wind and rain, I visualised a taxi cab coming towards me. Believe it or not, a taxi cab stopped right in front of me to let a passenger out and I was able to get home in record time. He was a very pleasant driver and even let me off with two euro when I didn't have enough change.

I got home, in a relaxed state, had a nice cup of tea and then my wonderful neighbour called over. She insisted on driving me to the school to pick my son up because the weather was so bad. Then she invited us to her house so my son could play with her toddler grandson and we could chat over a coffee. I really couldn't ask for a better neighbour or friend.

I have the housework done and my son is now upstairs having a lovely nap. Everyone is safe and looked after now. This allows me to get on with blogging and writing which is something else that I do just for myself! Bliss!

Someone Else's Dream

2010-11-01T14:24:00.000-07:00

On a recent trip to Greece, I realised the life that I am living and often not appreciating as much as I could, is actually some else's dream!

I wrote about it over at The WM Parenting Connection http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/10/someone-elses-dream.html

It's worth remembering that each of us is living a life that someone else in the world can only dream of!

Brave or Selfish?

2010-10-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

A little while I ago I wrote a post for The WM Parenting Connection titled 'Brave or Selfish?'.

I am delighted to see that quite a few people have commented on this particular post. What a well balanced lot those people are!

You can read the post and the comments here http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/06/brave-and-selfish-by-claire-hegarty.html

Please feel free to leave a comment yourself, either on this blog or over at the comments page at the above site.

Much appreciated! All the best to you.

Claire

Blog Schedule

2010-10-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

The more I write the more I want to write. Writing regularly makes the compulsion stronger for me. For this reason, and on the advice of Margo Dill of http://margodill.com/blog/ I resolve to start a blogging schedule.

I intend to blog on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I will not have specific things that I do on each of these days. However, the posts will relate to my intention of providing information, personal stories and resources for the forty something first time mother.

I will try to write my posts on Sunday and schedule them to publish during the week on the above days.

I intend to start this blogging schedule on the week of 25th October when I will have carried out some improvements and updates on this blog. Meanwhile you can find my musings on Sundays at http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/

Rare night out. Is it worth it?

2010-10-10T02:21:00.000-07:00

I will try to update this later but at the moment I am suffering!

Check out my post over at The WM Parenting Connection. Click on the link below:
http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/10/rare-night-out-but-is-it-worth-it.html

Mompetitors

2010-10-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

I saw this hilarious video on a facebook page today. It made me laugh so much and I especially love the term 'mompetitors'

I hadn't heard of this term before but I thought it was the funniest thing. I guess we all know a few mothers who fit this category. I am certainly not one of them. Being a forty something first time mum, I don't even bother trying to compete or keep up with other mums. It would be a losing battle as they all seem so much younger than me.

Check out the video and you will see what I mean!

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7148143/

Meningitis Advice

2010-10-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/09/misdiagnosis.html
I recently wrote a post over at The WM Parenting connection about misdiagnosis.(see the above link) I mentioned a little girl who had been misdiagnosed with swine flu when she actually had meningitis. She subsequently died as a result of this. Meningitis is one of my greatest fears now that I am the mother of a young child.

My facebook friend Celine Blacow of 'Soaperstar' http://www.soaperstar.blogspot.com/ recently posted up the following link telling her amazing story of surviving meningitis, not once, not twice but FIVE times!
Check it out at http://www.meningitis.org/book-of-experience/celine-blacow-40217

It's really worth checking this site out to increase your awareness of the disease. You don't have to be a fortysomething first time mum like myself to worry about it!

Casual or Smart - My new post is up

2010-10-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks for visiting today. I will write more as soon as I get a minute. My toddler is having his nap at the moment so I am frantically trying to catch up on emails and blogs.

In the meantime why not pop over to the wonderful WM Parenting Connection site and read my latest article. Feel free to add your comments whether you agree or disagree.

There is tons of fun and good advice to be had over there!

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/10/casual-or-smart-anything-goes-these.html

You might also like to look at my other sites:

http://casquetofgems.blogspot.com/
http://www.everydayverses.blogspot.com

Our House for Our Son

2010-10-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

There's a lot to be said for having a brand new large house, with landscaped gardens and all mod cons. I often feel that this is what I should aspire to, especially after visiting relatives and friends in said types of homes. But I have always wanted an old house, that has been lived in, that has character and that has neighbours that are a good mix of old and young.

I am happy to say that is exactly the type of house we live in now. We bought it three years ago and then only because our baby was due. We wanted him to have his own room and a garden to play in. Otherwise we might still be living in our apartment and putting the move off. As it was, we embarked on two huge things in life at the same time, having a baby and moving house.

I loved the house the minute I set foot in it. The neighbourhood is so quiet and the back garden so private you could almost be in the country. Yet we are only a thirty minute walk or ten minute drive from the city and the beach.There are plenty of schools in the vicinity and quaint coffee shops to while away a free morning. It is also only a short drive to my mothers house.

When I was a kid I always loved to visit the older type houses where there was something to discover and explore. Where you didn't have to worry that you would spill something on the white carpet or the gleaming table tops. I remember my parents taking us to visit their friends in the countryside in Kildare. We loved it because there was an old wreck of a car in the back field that we could pretend to drive.

Then there were the friends who lived in a big old house in the city. The back garden was full of wild flowers and old trees and long forgotten knickknacks. How I loved to play and explore there. The landscaped gardens that most people have today, big or small, just do not hold the same kind of adventure. At the end of our garden is a private lane that runs along the back of the houses. We have put a swing up in the big old tree there and our son loves to play out there with his friends. He calls it his secret garden.

Our son is almost three now and I feel that our house is a magical place for him to be. Sure, it needs renovating and that will be done in due course but it has all the elements that I found so appealing when I was a child myself. It has nooks and crannies, a secret garden and a storybook atmosphere.

And it is certainly where my heart is..

2010-09-28T13:10:00.001-07:00

Change.org|Start Petition

Six Basic Needs - Article by Linda Milo

2010-09-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

Six Basic Needs of Children, Adolescents and Adults
by Linda Milo

It doesn't matter what stage of life you are in, everyone has
the same basic needs. These needs are physical, emotional,
social, intellectual, spiritual, and creative. When all of these
needs are satisfied, you'll discover that your life is brimming
with joy and good feelings. You'll find your self-esteem at its
highest peak whenever you are fulfilled within your daily life
and activities.

Physical Needs: These needs are the basics. The need for air,
water, sleep, exercise, and sex.

Emotional Needs: This is the need for praise, love, trust,
security, feeling OK inside, and self-fulfilled.

Social Needs: This is the need for companionship and
friendship. This is usually gained from a peer group.

Intellectual Needs: This is the need for challenging thoughts,
reading, learning something new, and mind stimulation.

Spiritual Needs: This is the quiet need inside that wants to
know and believe in a higher spiritual power than ourselves.
This need increases our awareness and sensitivity to the greater
aspects of life.

Creative Needs: This is the need to express yourself in any
manner you desire. This can include the arts, dancing, acting,
and writing - almost anything that allows you to feel
imaginative and inspired.

All of the above needs are usually a part of every human's
life. All of us want to have these needs met in life. Having
these needs met increases our enjoyment of living and creates a
healthy body and soul. So how do parents fulfil these needs in
their growing children? The first way is to become aware that
the needs of a child are the same as yours. Being empathetic to
your child at all times creates a bond that nurtures the needs
of your child. For example, whenever your child wants to create
or make something, allow your attention to center on your child
and give him whatever you think will help to inspire your
child's creativity.

My children loved to create drawings on large pieces of paper. I
helped them do this by supplying them with the all the paper,
crayons, paint, brushes, etc. necessary to stimulate their
minds. Then I let them go to it! It was exciting to watch my
child create a masterpiece of their imagination. Their artwork
was sweet, beautiful and full of ingenuity. I then posted the
artwork all around the house to show to their siblings and
guests. As a parent, it was my goal to communicate with my child
that I truly understood and valued his desires and feelings to
be creative. I empowered my child to become all that he can be
at that moment. This process immediately shows your child that
his opinions and thoughts are valued.

By empowering your child, you are allowing your child to take
ownership of their feelings, take responsibility for their
behavior, make decisions that help them grow, follow through
with commitments and most importantly, to become aware of the
needs and feelings of others. You are giving your child the
chance to experience success and understand his own uniqueness.
It's rewarding for a child, adolescent and adult to have
recognition and respect. By empowering yourself, as well as your
child, you are fostering basic needs that truly make you glow
inside and out.

At different times in our lives, we are capable of doing
certain things. Stay tuned to where your child's capabilities
are during his childhood and supply the above needs according to
his stage in life. In fact, developmental stages continue right
into old age. When a child's needs are met, his discomforts and
fears are quickly removed and he finds that his life is truly a
safe and fun place to be. This feeling leads to a child that
learns to trust his environment and each successive stage of
development.

Know that meeting these six needs in your child's life is not
hard to do at any stage. Getting involved in your child's
exploration of his life doesn't take money, but it does take
thoughtfulness and time. Providing these needs throughout your
child's lifetime allows your child to go through his stages of
life with a healthy regard for himself and for society. It
encourages your child's autonomy and capacity to do more with is
his lifetime. Who can ask for more?

Copyright © 2006 by Linda Milo and Empowering Parents Now. All
rights reserved.

Source: http://www.PopularArticles.com/article41299.html

Misdiagnosis

2010-09-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/09/misdiagnosis.html

This is my latest post on The WM Parenting Connection It's about getting a second opinion when it comes to your family's health.

Instructions not included

2010-09-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

Yet again, I have been looking back at old photos of my little boy and marvelling at how quickly he is growing. From this little six pound (6lb) scrap of life to the three stone (42lb) of toddler that he is today. Even though I was three months shy of my forty second (42nd) birthday when I had him, I really hadn't a clue what to do. That's why I just love this photo as it was exactly how I felt at the time. No real instructions apart from well meaning advice and books on this and that, none of which I could take in anyway.

I think that people assumed that because I was older and had nieces and nephews and friends with kids, that I should know about motherhood. In actual fact, because I had put off motherhood so long and then got a shock when it actually happened, I really was clueless. I hadn't been as attentive to my nieces and nephews as an aunt should be, for various reasons. One, was that I loved animals and spent most of my time with them, running a dogwalking and petsitting business and another, was that the older I got and the more I thought it wouldn't happen for me, I wanted to avoid children and their parents who would ask awkward questions. Not surprising then that everyone assumed I preferred animals to children!

Now I look at him and I marvel at how healthy and robust he is. I am amazed that we have managed to get him this far already. He is almost three years old now and I am forty four! I revel in the fact that motherhood came to me a lot more naturally than I ever would have thought. Of course, it has it's challenges especially on my energy levels but I wouldn't change anything about my situation for anything else in this world.

From Pet Mum to Real Mum

2010-08-27T05:00:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP90Y1i4mt0&feature=channel

Also check out my new facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stay-At-Home-Pets/109399819117408?v=info#!/pages/Stay-At-Home-Pets/109399819117408?ref=ts

Three Generations

2010-08-19T10:04:00.001-07:00

I recently heard that a girl I knew, in the place I grew up has become a grandmother. I am forty-four. She is a few years younger than me. Her mother is also much younger than mine. Her father is young too and still around.

I partied and careered my way through my twenties and most of my thirties. I shunned the idea of motherhood. I felt that it was a poverty trap, a personality trap, and every kind of trap you could think of. I had watched my mother struggle. I had watched some of my peers struggle. I didn’t want that to happen in my life.

I didn’t believe I was maternal. I didn’t believe in the biological clock. But I was in for a huge shock. At the age of thirty-eight it happened! It ticked loudly and constantly and I couldn’t ignore it.

Although I was twenty-nine when I met my husband and thirty-four when we married, having children was never on my mind. I assumed that if it ever did cross my mind, there would be no problem having them. I was wrong.

When I hit forty and no children had come along, my husband and I decided that maybe parenthood just wasn’t destined for us. I decided to concentrate on other things and put it out of my mind. Then, out of the blue, at the age of forty-one I became pregnant. We had our little son when I was three months off my forty-second birthday.

Because I waited such a long time to become a mother, my father never got to meet him. He passed on when I was thirty-five and it was to be seven more years before my son was born. My mother is still around and they love each other a lot but she cannot do the same things a younger grandmother could do. His other grandparents are also in their seventies.

That new baby, grandchild of the girl I knew, will have young parents, grandparents and even great grandparents. There will be three generations there to depend on. They can help with looking after the children while the parents have a break.

I never considered any of this in the past. It requires a lot of energy, strength and endeavour to raise children even if there is only one. It can be challenging, pleasant and satisfying all at the same time. Having a child or children in your forties makes it even more so.

I am so lucky to have been able to have my son in my forties and I am lucky that at least my mother is still around to get to know him. I wish I had done things a little differently sometimes and become a mother a little sooner, but I am mostly happy with the way things are.

2010-08-17T09:49:00.000-07:00

Update

2010-08-11T14:55:00.001-07:00

It would be great if you would pop over to the brilliant Angel La Liberte's blog. I am featured on her site.

http://flowerpowermom.com/wordpress/?p=2035

Pop over to the WM Parenting connection for my latest article

2010-08-08T06:52:00.001-07:00

I have an article update over at the brilliant WM Parenting Connection site if you want to pop over and take a look ! Any comments or feedback would be very much appreciated on that site and of course, on my blog here.

Thanks so much!

http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/2010/08/real-world-by-claire-hegarty_08.html

Everyday Gyaan

2010-08-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

I will update soon! Meanwhile scoot on over to the brilliant Everyday Gyaan site.

http://www.everydaygyaan.com/2010/08/met-this-forty-something-first-time-mom.html

A Mum at last! (Reposted)

2010-07-23T10:58:00.001-07:00

As you can guess from the title of this blog, I am a forty something first time mum. Or as we say here in Ireland 'Mam' or 'Mammy'.

I am writing this blog for therapeutic purposes really. It can be a lonely business being a forty something first time mum. Many people of my age have older and even fully grown children. This was brought home to me at a mother and toddler group that I attended for a short while. The leader asked me if I was my two year old son's 'nana' (grandmother)! I was horrified as I think I actually look pretty ok for my age (44). Maybe I have what is recently termed as 'fatorexia' and 'age orexia' because when I look in the mirror I see a fairly slim young one looking back at me!! I enjoyed the group but I left after a few weeks as it reminded me that I am indeed a bit of an oldie. Most of the other mothers and fathers were at least ten years younger than me!

Maybe you are wondering, if I am so worried about being an older mum, why I left it so late? The answer I will give now is I really do not know! The answer I would have given in my twenties and thirties about not having children would have been that I did not want to be poor, trapped and miserable. After all, that's what had happened to my mother for part of her life, not to mention some of my peers who had children at a young age. And so, I spent my twenties and thirties in a partying haze, pushing kids to the bottom of my list. In fact, they really were not on my list at all!

Even when I married at age 34, I wasn't that enamoured of the idea. Luckily, my other half did not pressurise me or seem to mind too much. In fact, he once said he thought I was too immature to have kids! The pot and the kettle come to mind in that regard! We both had good full time jobs and enjoyed going away, drinking and going out for meals. I didn't believe in the biological clock either or that it would ever tick for me. What a shock I was in for!

At around age 38 , I suddenly started to take a big interest in my nieces and nephews. Although I loved them, I really couldn't be bothered before. My brothers never asked me to babysit much and everyone said I preferred animals to kids! I guess, in hindsight, it would have seemed that way, but deep down I think I was just trying to avoid the whole issue. And issues about childbirth and parenthood, I truly had. I couldn't even bear to hear about childbirth or watch a scene on TV involving it. I felt it was a humiliating and degrading experience for the woman and that as usual the man got off scot free. It really scared me when I started to ogle babies in their prams, and wonder what it would be like to have a child of my own! What was happening to me? Had I been wrong about the biological clock because it sure seemed to have started ticking for me, however late!

I really started to feel I wanted a child and my husband felt the same. We tried, but unfortunately nothing happened except a miscarriage. I didn't even realise that was what it was at the time so ignorant of all things of that ilk was I! As time went on and I hit the age of forty, I decided to forget about the whole idea. By that stage I felt that it was probably my own fault that I could not conceive. I had spent the best part of 38 years saying I did not want children. Now it seemed as if my body was responding in kind. I felt as if I had willed it into not wanting them either. I remember someone saying to me at that time, that since I was forty, I might as well face the fact I would never have kids. I was sad but decided to get on with life and not think about it. Parenthood is not the path for everyone and it is not in everyone's life journey. I thought that was probably the case with me. I went part time in my day job and set up my own dogwalking and petsitting business and felt for the most part content with my life.

Then, out of the blue, at the age of 41, it happened! I was pregnant! And whats more I was over three months gone before I even realised. I had lost track of my cycle because I had put it out of my mind. I was not sick and had no other symptoms. In fact, I felt great and had loads of energy. It was only when his nibs asked me if I had been keeping tabs on my cycle because he hadn't heard me complaining about it for yonks, that it even crossed my mind. I was soooooooooo happy when the test came up positive. In fact, two tests and the one at the doctors came up positive, positive, positive!!

Other people were shocked and urged me to have all manner of tests done because of my age. I went for some private counselling just to be sure it was something we could handle. We then decided that we would forego the tests and just accept whatever and whoever was sent to us. I just knew then, that even if those tests had showed up any abnormalities we were ready for it. Thankfully, all was perfect and in November 2007 our beautiful son was born. It really was the best day of my life! Now I knew what people meant.

If I had known before what I found out that day and what I know now, I would have tried to have children a lot earlier. I realise now that even if it did cause me to be trapped, that having a child is a wonderful, beautiful blessing. In fact, parenthood has not trapped or frightened me in any way. So far, it is a bonus and an enhancement to my life and I think I can speak for my husband there too.

Since then, I have wanted another child really badly. I have a strong longing for that but I also wanted it for my little son. I would like him to have a sibling so that having older parents won't be a burden to him in later life. Sadly, I had a miscarriage last year age 43 and it was devastating. We are so so so thankful for the child we have and I am so grateful my body clock ticked loudly and woke me up before it really was too late!

In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would become a forty something first time mum but here I am!!! Yippee!!

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

12 comments:

Sarah Butland said...: Bravo!!! What a compelling and heart warming piece. It's from the heart, to other mom's and mom's to be at any age. Things happen when it's best for them to happen. You weren't ready for your child before 41 and that's perfectly ok. I know that my husband and I were completely ready for whatever our baby threw at us (literally and figuratively) when we had him, before we did we were selfish and perfectly happy as a couple which was ok too. I imagine you and your husband were the same way. To parenting. And, by the way, don't have another for the sake of a sibling, another will happen if you're all ready for him/her.; May 1, 2010 11:51 AM
SuileGlasa said...: Thanks for the post Sarah. We really would love another child and we are ready and waiting. It would be great for my son as well. However, I think at 44 it may be too late. But then again, look at Cherie Blair the ex British Prime Ministers wife. She was 45. There are many examples so who knows! Watch this space.. Or should I say, watch this blog!!; May 1, 2010 1:39 PM
lizm8906 said...: It's never too late! Some women of 65 are having them - although know I couldn't - feel too old now sometimes and am also a 40 something Mum of young girls although did get in having them just before 40... Very interesting Blog... I look forward to seeing more posts. x; May 2, 2010 5:34 AM
SuileGlasa said...: As you said yourself Liz, it's never too late! If it's meant to happen, it will.; May 4, 2010 5:44 AM
berniegloster said...: Great and so honest and funny.Things happen for a reason I lost three babies before I had my son I thought I'd have no more and 8 years at nearly 39 without I had my daughter a total surprise.I still remember when my son visited me in hospital and asked me was I going to dye my hair still because he was afraid they may think I was her granny not her mum(out of the mouth of babes)Well at 52 I still dye my hair and I have two georgeous kids (my son of 22 would'nt like me calling him a kid)both a fantastic surprise; May 6, 2010 11:31 AM
veronahanlon said...: Such a lovely featue - it's funny to think that as women (who want it all), we are probably thinking the same things!; May 7, 2010 7:21 AM
Loraine said...: Hi Neighbour - glad to have read your blog - it's an absolutely amazing experience to be a Mom and I am so glad you went for it - I too experienced loss having had two miscarriages after my daughter and thought I would never have another - but some medical intervention and the wonderful drug "lovenox" (I have a blood disorder that causes me to develop clots while pregnant) - and my beautiful son was born a year and three months ago. Please take each day as it comes - God will send to you a blessing if it is right for your family - in the meantime, enjoy your son every minute (even if he gets into your makeup or draws on your walls!)... Love Lo X; May 19, 2010 5:09 PM
Claire said...: Thanks Lo!; May 27, 2010 9:04 AM
Lorna said...: Delighted to find your blog. I had my kids at age 33 and 35 and planned to have another 2 by the time I was 40. 3 miscarriages later (had no probs with first 2) and lots of infertility treatment and aged 41 this month, we are going to adopt. But I so empathise with your feelings re not being maternal, even when I was pregnant with my first, I was wondering how on earth I could breastfeed and bond with this thing that would cry, smell and not ever sleep. Ok, he never slept but he was a gorgeous baby and I ended up breast feeding him till he was 2 so I sort of turned into an earth mother - far cry from the woman who was going to thrust him into the creche at 8 weeks and head back to work! I hope you have another baby - best of luck. Personally I think the later women leave having their kids, the more they enjoy them; July 13, 2010 11:26 AM
Danka said...: Congrats on your baby! Loved your story! I have few friends who don't want kids or are not ready for them and my heart cries out but unfortunately they would never understand "us" (moms) what it means to see smile of your baby!; July 14, 2010 4:40 AM
Claire said...: You are so right Danka. I am so glad I found out before it was too late!; July 20, 2010 11:44 AM
Claire said...: Lorna, I love your story. I think it's great to adopt also. The very best of luck with it.

Three Little Birds

2010-07-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

I love this song. The Bob Marley version is great. I spotted this version on EverydayGyaan blog.It's sung by the little

girl Connie Talbot who performed on Britain's got Talent. I often sing this to my little boy

and she does a great job singing this. My little man was enthralled by it! I guess I won't

be singing it to him anymore.

http://www.everydaygyaan.com/2010/03/musical-monday-three-little-birds.html

Everyday Gyaan: Musical Monday - Three Little Birds

2010-07-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

Everyday Gyaan: Musical Monday - Three Little Birds

OOOh this is so sweet and a song I always sing to my little boy

I count my blessings

2010-07-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude. ~Robert Brault

As a fortysomething first time mother, I really have a lot to be thankful for. I don't express this gratitude as often as I should so I am going to put it down here for all the world to see.

I am full of gratitude that I had a healthy and happy first pregnancy at the age of forty One. I then went on to have a healthy and happy baby boy. That little boy is a truly blessed addition to my life. He is one of seven grandchildren on my side of the family and one of twenty on the other. All of those children are healthy children and that is another thing to be truly thankful for.

Sadly, my father passed on nine years ago yesterday but I am thankful that my mother is still around. She loves life and always looks fantastic and makes the most of herself. I love the fact that even though she is in bad health, with chronic asthma, arthritis, she is still living her life. She is on a nebuliser 6 times a day and tons of medication but doesn't let it get her down. As I write this, she is out on a day trip with her friends. And this, a day after she received some bad news at the hospital on the date of my father's anniversary. She has now developed a growth on her pancreas and, while she is worried, she says if anything is to happen, she is grateful for her life so far and she is happy. We came out of the hospital, visited my father's grave, went out for lunch and then went shopping. She said she was thankful to be able to do all that and to have me and my son to do it with. What an attitude of gratitude that is!

My little boy is napping as I write this and I am offering up thanks that we have a peaceful home in which to lay our heads. So many people in the world do not have this luxury. Although it is an old house and needs improvement, I am thrilled to be living here. I sat in my garden today, appreciating the greenery and the privacy, and the space for my little boy to play in.

I am thankful that I have the option of taking a career break to stay at home with my little boy for the first few years of his life and that my husband has a good job in these recessionary times.

I am so grateful for my four lovely brothers and their families. I do not express that enough and we do not see each other enough so that is something I need to think about a little more.

I heard today that a woman I know, who is the same age as me has just been transferred to a hospice to die. She has fought cancer before and succeeded but this time it was not to be. I often go on about being a forty something mother when some others of my age are grandmothers. This woman's daughter had a baby at the same time as me so she is one of those people. However, even though she is a grandmother, she is far, far too young to die. I am truly thankful that at the same age and with a young child to look after I am in for the most part in good health.

I am so thankful for the friends and good neighbours I have in my life. At my ante natal classes I was lucky enough to meet a new friend, also in her forties and now also mother to a two and a half year old boy. He has now become my son's best friend. This evening a friend is coming over to keep me company and sip some wine.

I am overwhelmed with things to be thankful for. At night, if I cannot sleep or feel put out about anything, I write my blessings down. They are far to numerous to put down here but I am sure I could go on writing about it forever.

I laugh every day now!

2010-07-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

Laughter is an instant vacation.-- Milton Berle

I laugh every single day now because of my little boy. Like all children, he comes out with some very funny stuff. Even the expressions on his little face can set me off. I can be feeling ill or cranky and just one amusing thing he does gives me an instant lift. What a wonderful gift to give his Mammy!

While trying to teach him his manners, I always ask him for the 'magic' word which should be 'please'. Today when I asked him that question, he replied 'Daddy'. Of course, his Dad was delighted to hear this and highly amused.

Happy Midsummers Day!

2010-06-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
-- St. Francis of Assisi

It's officially midsummers day and the longest day of the year! My younger brother was born on this day many moons ago and my mother always says it definitely was the longest day for her. She had a difficult labour and birth but thankfully acquired a lovely little boy out of it, her fourth and last son, and the youngest in the family.

For a change, here in Ireland, the sun is shining today and so it actually lives up to the titlel of mid'summers' day. We have had a terrible few years weatherwise so this is such a welcome change. And what an amazing day today so far.

If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would enjoy being a stay at home mum I would have laughed in their faces. As far as I was concerned I didn't have a maternal bone in my body. Check out my first post if you haven't already, to see what I mean! If they had told me I would be gambolling about the park and zoo in my forties, I would have become hysterical with mirth.

It might not be the most exciting day for many but for me it's bliss. My husband left early for work and I wakened to a beautiful sunshiny morning at around 8am. My little boy did me the favour of sleeping in until 9.30am, the little angel. I was able to have my shower, get dressed and even get some yoga in before he called for me. After his shower and breakfast, his little friend called over with his gran, one of my lovely neighbours, who is fast becoming a special friend. We spent a while in each of our houses and gardens, playing games and having coffee.

In the afternoon we went to St Anne's Park which is nearby. It boasts a great childrens' playground and picnic area, forest and river walks and a stunning rose garden. We whiled away a carefree few hours and then headed home

After an hour playing with bubbles in the back garden, my little angel asked if he could go for his nap, hence allowing me to be able to update this blog, amongst other things. He is sleeping peacefully now so I am franctically trying to get things done so I am ready to entertain him again later. Hopefully he will sleep for his usual two hours and then we can have dinner in the garden on a lovely summers evening.

AAAAh. I am happy today.................

Update

2010-06-20T15:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated for a while as I was away for over a week and then again, this weekend.

I have started contributing to a brilliant site http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/ so skip on over there to see what I have been up to. My bio/intro is not up under 'meet the parents' yet but keep your eye out for it.

I will be updating this blog with different content to the above so it would be brilliant if you could check them both out.

All the best to you and many thanks for dropping by!

Miscarriage Help

2010-06-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

An excellent site for those affected by miscarriage. I really want to write something on this subject so watch this space. Meanwhile go to http://miscarriagehelp.com/ hosted by Ellen Dubois author of 'I never held you'

2010-05-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. ~Henry James

We have had sunshiny weather all last week, excluding yesterday. It is amazing the effect the weather has on people and I include myself in that. The neighbours have been hanging out on the green that sits in the middle of our group of houses. I have been having lots of chat and my little man has been getting plenty of exercise running about with the other kiddies. The social element is as uplifting as the sunshine.

Today all four of us went to the park and the Botanic Gardens, hubby, son, mother and me . We had a wonderful time, just strolling in the sunshine and smiling at people. We had an interesting conversation with an old man who said the sunny weather just made him want to talk to people. I knew exactly what he meant!

We got talking to another mother who had a little girl about the same age as our son and a new born baby, seven weeks old. She was forty four. It's nice to know there are other people out there who have managed to have babies in their fourth decade of life.

Yesterday was the odd day out in recent times as it was dull and dreary. The garden cats looked bedraggledly forlorn as they gathered outside for their mealtimes. The green in front of our houses was sorrily empty. There was nobody except ourselves to talk to.

As the week comes to an end and another one begins, I am excited about what it will bring. Hopefully more sunny afternoons.............

All the best to you!

Do All Mums do this?

2010-05-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

Song is what feelings sound like. ~Author Unknown

I don't know if it's just me or if it's something that all mothers do.

Since my little boy came into the world, I find myself singing songs and directing them all at him. When I was a younger, more starry eyed girlie, the songs would automatically bring my significant other to mind. I would sing along to soppy love songs thinking only of him.

Now I think of my little boy who truly is the 'sunshine of my life'

As young or old as you feel

2010-05-25T07:50:00.001-07:00

You are as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~Douglas MacArthur

I started a beginners yoga class last week. It is something I have been interested in doing for a while but have not made the effort to do. I had tried some classes with my brother and his wife many years ago but had felt self conscious and out of place at that time.

Since I have restarted my practice of positive thinking and put into practice some of the Laws of Attraction (google it if you don't know what I mean!), it's amazing how things I want are coming my way. Okay, I did not want the sciatica that I have mysteriously developed but if I hadn't had that and mentioned it to my neighbour, then she might not have mentioned the yoga class to me.

My neighbour is in her sixties though you wouldn't guess it and amazingly our yoga teacher is in in her seventies. I was stunned by this information as she looks much much younger. She started to talk about something she had done fifty years ago and I am sure my mouth fell open. I have since heard that she has a son in her fifities and a mother in her nineties. The classes are relaxing, interesting and totally suitable for a forty something beginner with back problems. The classes are a mixture of Hatha and remedial yoga and there is a creche attached so my little man gets an hour and a half of play with other children his own age.

The most interesting thing for me though, is that our teacher only started yoga in her forties. She positively radiates health and warmth to everyone in the room. I aspire to be like that at this age, never mind when I am in my seventies!

I came to most things later in life than a lot of my peers, including carving out a decent career. I know now that this had to do with my lack of self esteem and self worth. In my late thirties after doing some work on myself, I learned to drive and swim, overcame dental phobia and started my own dogwalking and petsitting business (on hold for the moment). The confidence surge from doing all this and from practicing positivity has now led me onto this next wonderful stage.

I always thought once you hit forty, the interesting parts of life were pretty much over! I am thrilled to find that is far from the case. I only have to look at myself as an example. I am a forty something first time mum (on career break from great job), blogger, business person, phobic killer, yoga student and hopefully a life long learner!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5ZacH2LaIE&feature=player_embedded

All the best to you. Positive. Positive. Positive.

Playgrounds in Dublin and wrath of vandalism

2010-05-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

http://dublinbynumbers.com/blog/vandalism-of-dublin-playgrounds/trackback

http://www.dublinblog.ie/2010/04/29/playtime-in-dublin-an-occasional-series/#comments

Creation|Collaboration: Collaboration Women Wednesday Blog Hop - Week 5

2010-05-19T03:33:00.000-07:00

Creation|Collaboration: Collaboration Women Wednesday Blog Hop - Week 5

Fruit tastes nicer on a cake!

2010-05-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis

While on a quest to feed my two and a half year old son healthy foods, I am trying to eat more fruit and vegetables myself. I still find however, that fruit tastes nicer when atop a nice piece of cheescake or encased in a crusty pastry! This probably explains why I am about two stone overweight but - still looking good -I hasten to add! (positive attitude kicking in!).

As a forty something first time mum, I figure I need all the energy I can get and a good diet and exercise is part of that. Unfortunately, I am not as prolific with either one as I would like to be. Despite my new positive attitude, I am in pain at the moment and also struggling with the comfort eating thing. I am sure some of you out there can feel my pain! Still, I am persevering with the mind over matter theory, knowing this makes things better. What's the point of complaining all the time unless it's to someone who can help.

The eating things started off very well with my little man. He used to eat everything including spinach and broccoli but in the past few months he has become very fussy. He won't even eat nice things like flavoured jelly and he hates chocolate. If I give him green veg, he says 'don't wike gwass' (don't like grass) and if I give him anything with chocolate in it he says 'dutty' (dirty). I even gave him chocolate chip ice cream as a treat the other day but he proceeded to spit out all the bits! He doesn't take after his mother when it comes to chocolate, that's for sure.

At the moment he is living on egg, toast, yoghurt, crackers, cheese and ham. He will eat pasta the odd time but not if it's shells instead of squiggles. He drinks a lot of milk and water and he loves fresh orange juice with no pips. I am hoping he is getting enough nutrition from what he is eating and will resume eating normally at some point. Some books say if he doesn't eat what you put in front of him, to take it away and he will eat what he is given when he is hungry. Other books and sites say that it's important for him to be eating something so give him what he likes. I tend to do this as I don't want him going to bed hungry!

With a myriad of sites and information to choose from, it can all be a bit confusing. I may be a forty something mum but I am still a first time mum and still learning. I feel sometimes that because I am older, people are surprised that I don't know it all!

Wrinkles don't hurt!

2010-05-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. ~Author Unknown

Well, all I can say is that it's a blessing that wrinkles don't hurt! Because everything else does at the moment.

I don't think I can blame my aches and pains on the fact that I am a forty something first time mum as I know quite a few who are in pretty good shape! I think it's more the years of abuse I gave my body leading up to my forties. The overeating and partying lifestyle seemed like a good idea at the time but boy, am I paying for it now.

I suppose I am lucky that even though I was pregnant at the age of forty one, none of these ailments manifested until quite recently. I do think that my new positive attitude is helping me a lot though as I think in the past I would have just curled up in bed and cried. Also the fact that my little son makes me laugh every day is a big factor. Late motherhood doesn't come without its problems but with such a lovely child around, anything is bearable.

2010-05-11T11:06:00.000-07:00

Tribute album to mothers over 40

2010-05-11T03:52:00.001-07:00

This was sent to me the other day and I just had to share it.

This is the first Tribute Album to honor and show appreciation for mothers having children after 40.

If you like the message, please share it with your friends, work and other contacts. Everyone is just one or two degrees of separation from an over-40 mom.

CELEBRATING MOTHERHOOD AFTER 40: A TRIBUTE ALBUM

From www.flowerpowermom.com

For the Tribute Album, click here: http://www.flowerpowermom.com/publicfiles/FPM_Album_2010.pdf

With gratitude,

Angel La Liberte, Founder FPM

Happy Mothers Day to those who celebrate it today!

2010-05-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

Many of my friends are celebrating mothers day today. We here in Ireland celebrated it in March.

The above quote is true for many people but not for all. Quite a few of my friends didn't get on with their mothers growing up and still don't. I can't for the life of me imagine that sort of scenario. Sure, my mother and I had our ups and downs not to mention shouting matches! I don't know how she put up with me as a teenager but we got through it intact. We are best of friends now and I am so glad she is around. I am also glad that she got to meet my little boy who is now two and a half and who loves her a lot. Sure, she still says things that annoy me but I choose to let them go, most of the time.

I think we even share a telepathic streak. I remember when I lived away from home in a different country. I was going through a very emotional time and hadn't stopped crying for a couple of days. I hadn't told my mother anything about it. I remember drinking beer and lying on my bed all night sobbing into mounds of pink tissues. The next morning I had an early phone call from my anxious mother who hadn't slept all night She had had a very strong dream about me, in which I was lying on a bed covered in pink flowers!!!

I love Mothers day now. It used to be a day for celebrating my own mother and of course it still is. But now I get to celebrate it myself and it truly is a most gratifying thing. I still cannot believe that I am lucky enough to be the mother of this beautiful boy. I just love to hear him calling me each morning or indeed any time of day. 'Mammy, Mammy' the most beautiful words ever to be heard by these ears!

All the best to you and thanks for reading

Positive. Positive. Positive.

Go For It!

2010-05-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. ~John Henry Newman

When starting my blog last week, the above quote came to mind. I was speaking to someone about the art of personal blogging.

I call it the art of personal blogging because I think, like art, it comes from the heart of the creator. The person I was speaking to said they would be afraid to do a personal blog and make it public because they couldn't write well enough. I remembered John Henry Newman's quote and decided I would go ahead with my plan. I think no matter what we choose to do in life there will always be people who agree with us and people who disagree with us. There will always be positive people and people who can find nothing but fault with things. I know which one I would rather be!

As a forty something first time mum, I have done most things in my life later than many of my peers including having a baby! I had very bad self worth issues in my twenties and thirties. Now there is a new and improved me in my life! I am determined to decide what I want and then just go for it! I hope you will join with me and do the same.

All the best to you and thanks for reading

Positive. Positive. Positive.

More like thirty four?

2010-05-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

I had a funny experience in the local shop this morning. I am still chuckling.

As we made our way around the shelves, an elderly lady stopped to chat. She asked my little boy what his name was and he duly told her. Then she asked him where he lived and he looked at her as if she should know and said 'our house'. Then she asked him how old he was and he first said 'two half' then he looked at me and shouted 'forty four! The lady looked at me and said 'somehow I don't think your mother is forty four'. I smiled at her and she said 'More like thirty four'

I was delighted of course. But now I am sitting here thinking because she is so much older, everyone probably looks younger than they are. My mother says, the older she gets, the more impossible she finds it to put ages on people.

Still, it makes a nice change.

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2010-05-05T04:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I am feeling decidedly happy this morning even though it is a dull and dreary day outside and there is a huge magpie sitting just outside my window!

My little boy goes to playschool with a lovely lady nearby, two mornings a week for a few hours. When he knows he is going there he cheers and sings, he is so happy about it! It's beneficial to both of us as he gets to play with other kids and learn new things. As a forty something first time mum, I haven't produced any siblings for him. I am also enjoying the time being able to do a bit of work from home and reacquaint myself with various technologies!

I woke up with pain in my buttock and leg this morning and dosing myself with difene and paracetemol hasn't really helped. However, I determined that I would use my mind over matter positive techniques and although the pain is still there, it is working. Driving my little man to school I decided we would sing something positive in the car and psyche ourselves up to have a wonderful day.

I sang 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' rounding off with a bit of his beloved cheering ,'hip hip hooray' three times. My little chap loved it and was singing along. By the time we got to his playschool, he was running up the path cheering. It made us both so happy and I went away smiling.

I still am!

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

life

2010-05-03T14:22:00.001-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=49946630476&ref=nf

Well, really not much to say about this video except that it gives a lot to think about.

All the best to you.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

This lady is amazing and definitely over forty!

2010-05-03T14:06:00.001-07:00

http://money.cnn.com/video/news/2010/04/12/n_cmr_92_year_old_yoga.cnnmoney/

Someone posted this video on facebook a while back and I just had repost it and put it on my blog.

Isn't this woman just amazing? You can feel the serenity and peacefulness of her aura as she speaks. You can see how flexible she still is at her age.

If this is what yoga and leading a life of mindfulness and positivity can do for you, shouldn't we all be at it? I tried yoga myself a few times in the past and found it tremendously relaxing and calming. The only problem was I didn't seem to get any more flexible even after two courses of 8 lessons and just couldn't progress to the shoulder stand etc. I have never been able to stand on my head. It used to be a confidence thing. Now it's more like 'my body is failing me' thing!

I woke up in January with an excruciating pain from my left buttock down my leg to my foot. Even putting my foot to the ground was agony.The doctor diagnosed sciatica and prescribed difene and paracetemol and it eased off after a few days. Sadly however, I woke up with it again last Sunday. It's still as bad today even though I am on medication again.

I also had pains in my chest at the beginning of this year. It really worried me as I have a high cholesterol (on meds for it), a hereditary condition from my father. (Thanks Dad for the legacy!!). As he had a heart attack in his forties, I panicked. A subsequent ecg/stress test showed abnormality so I went into hospital for an angiogram. Thankfully my arteries were clear but as the consultant said, if I don't look after my health now, I may need his services in the future. With that out of the way, I still have this sciatica to deal with. Hopefully my new positive attitude will carry me through!

As the doctor said, once you hit your forties, any health issues that you are genetically subsceptible to are apt to come out. I thought I was a very healthy forty something first time mum but now I am finding my body is starting to exhibit symptoms of illnesses my parents had and have! Dad, who sadly has passed on now, had heart problems from his forties to his seventies although he eventually died of bowel cancer. Mam has asthma and osteo arthritis and sciatica!! She also has a positive attitude and is always out partying and making friends. Hopefuly cultivating this mind set and focusing on people like the lady above will help me to continue being a happy and nurturing mum even though I happen to be an older one!

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

So touching...

2010-05-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IelNN5uA2xw

I saw this video and it really touched my heart. I decided to repost it on FaceBook and also here on my blog.

As a forty something first time mother, I am so pleased that my mum is still around to see the child I thought I would never have. As I have been fortunate enough not to have to work outside the home at the moment, she gets to spend lots of time with us both. Its a blessing in disguise in some ways that I had my child so late in life as it has enabled me to be around for her. Because I am not tied to the confines of a 9 to 5 job at the moment, I am available to take her to her many doctor and hospital appointments. She is 77 this year and has some health problems. In saying that, she also has a positive attitude, friends and interests in life. There is one thing that really gets to me though and that is, that she is constantly repeating herself! She tells me the same things every time she sees me. I try and try to be nice about it and mostly I am. Sometimes however, I just blow and lose my cool like the son in this video. I am consumed with guilt every time I do it and now this clipfrequently comes to mind.

It brought tears to the eyes of a friend of mine who recently lost her mother. Her mother talked about birds a lot. A few weeks ago, while at the zoo with the kids, a little robin landed on the table beside us and then sat up in a tree above us. It reminded her of her mum and I like to think it was a message for my friend telling her that her mum is okay and not to feel guilty about anything. I had seen this video ages ago and it actually came to mind when we talked about her mum that day. I searched it out and decided to put it up here on my blog and repost it on facebook.

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

A Mum is born!

2010-05-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. The woman existed but the mother never. The mother is something absolutely new" Rajneesh

I love the above quotation. I came across it recently and it really spoke to me as a first time mother. I guess, it holds true for first time fathers too.

I existed as a woman with my many interests and needs and now I exist with a whole new side to my womanhood. In fact, for the first two years of my little boy's life, I pushed my interests and needs unwittingly into the background. Unwittingly is the relevant word here. I didn't realise that I was focusing so much on my child that I kind of lost myself. I was lucky enough to be able to take a career break from work to concentrate on him. As a forty something first time mother I felt I would like to spend as much time as possible with him. I would definitely need to have the energy for that too!

Now that I am more practiced in being a mum, or 'Mammy' as we say here, I realise that I can combine the two. In fact, happy as I am, being completely fulfilled will be a bonus to everyone in my life!

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

A Mum at last!

2010-05-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

As you can guess from the title of this blog, I am a forty something first time mum. Or as we say here in Ireland 'Mam' or 'Mammy'.

I am writing this blog for therapeutic purposes and to reach out to other more mature mothers. It can be a lonely business being a forty something first time mum.I want to 'speak' to others about my experiences and hopefully hear of the experience of others. As time goes on, I also hope to provide helpful information and tips on our situation.

Many of my peers have older and even fully grown children. Others have none at all. I attended a mother and toddler group when my little boy was really young. The facilitator asked me if I was my two year old son's 'nana' (grandmother)! My illusions that I looked pretty good for forty two, as I was at the time, were shattered.. I had read of the terms 'ageorexia' and 'fatorexia' and wondered if they referred to me. When I looked in the mirror I saw a fairly slim young one looking back at me!! I didn't sign up for the next leg of the group as it reminded me that I am indeed a bit of an oldie. Most of the other mothers and fathers were at least ten years younger than me.

Maybe you are wondering, if I am so worried about being an older mum, why I left it so late? The answer I will give now is I really do not know. The answer I would have given in my twenties and thirties about not having children would have been that I did not want to be poor, trapped and miserable. After all, that's what had happened to my mother for part of her life, not to mention some of my peers who had children at a young age. And so, I spent my twenties and thirties in a partying haze, pushing kids to the bottom of my list. In fact, they really were not on my list at all!

Even when I married at age 34, I wasn't that enamoured of the idea. Luckily, my other half did not pressurise me or seem to mind too much. In fact, he once said he thought I was too immature to have kids! The pot and the kettle come to mind in that regard! We both had good full time jobs and enjoyed going away, drinking and going out for meals. I didn't believe in the biological clock either or that it would ever tick for me. What a shock I was in for!

At around age 38 , I suddenly started to take a big interest in my nieces and nephews. Although I loved them, I really couldn't be bothered before. My brothers never asked me to babysit much and everyone said I preferred animals to kids! I guess, in hindsight, it would have seemed that way, but deep down I think I was just trying to avoid the whole issue. I had issues around childbirth and parenthood for sure. I couldn't even bear to hear about childbirth or watch a scene on TV involving it. I felt it was a humiliating and degrading experience for the woman and that as usual the man got off scot free. It really scared me when I started to ogle babies in their prams, and wonder what it would be like to have a child of my own! What was happening to me? Had I been wrong about the biological clock because it sure seemed to have started ticking for me, however late!

I started to feel I wanted a child and my husband started to feel the same. We tried, but unfortunately nothing happened except a miscarriage. I didn't even realise that was what it was at the time so ignorant of all things of that ilk was I! As time went on and I hit the age of forty, I decided to forget about the whole idea. By that stage I felt that it was probably my own fault that I could not conceive and carry a child. I had spent the best part of 38 years saying I did not want children.I had completely shunned the whole idea. Now it seemed as if my body was responding in kind. I remember someone saying to me at that time, that since I was forty, I might as well face the fact I would never have kids. I was sad but decided to get on with life and not think about it. Parenthood is not the path for everyone and it is not in everyone's life journey. I thought that was probably the case with me.I didn't want to go down the ivf route as I had seen before how it takes over peoples lives. I went part time in my day job, set up my own dogwalking and petsitting business and felt for the most part content with my life.

Then, at the age of 41, it happened! I was pregnant! And whats more I was over three months gone before I even realised. I had lost track of my cycle because I had put it out of my mind. I was not sick and had no other symptoms. In fact, I felt great and had loads of energy. It was only when my husband asked me if I had been keeping tabs on my cycle because he hadn't heard me complaining about it for yonks, that it even crossed my mind. I was soooooooooo happy when the test came up positive. In fact, two tests and the one at the doctors came up positive, positive, positive!!

Other people were shocked and urged me to have all manner of tests done because of my age. I went for some private counselling just to be sure it was something we could handle. We then decided that we would forego the tests and just accept whatever and whoever was sent to us. I just knew then, that even if those tests had showed up any abnormalities we were ready for it. Some would say you are never ready for that and I know the reality might be different but at the time we felt that way. Thankfully, all was perfect and in November 2007 our beautiful son was born. It really was the best day of my life! Now I knew what people meant.

If I had known before what I found out that day and what I know now, I would have tried to have children a lot earlier. I realise now that even if it did cause me to be trapped, that having a child is a wonderful, beautiful blessing. In fact, parenthood has not trapped or frightened me in any way. Of course it has and will have it's challenges but so far it is a bonus and an enhancement to my life.I can speak for my husband there too.

Since then, I have wanted another child really badly. I have a strong longing for that but I also wanted it for my little son. I would like him to have a sibling so that having older parents won't be a burden to him in later life. Sadly, I had a miscarriage last year age 43 and it was devastating. We are so so so thankful for the child we have and I am so grateful my body clock ticked loudly and woke me up before it really was too late!

In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would become a forty something first time mum but here I am!!! Yippee!!

If you are an older mum or 'later mum' as I have heard it termed, I would love to hear your experiences and comments.

All the best to you and thanks for reading.

Positive. Positive. Positive.